Reaments Of A Rainy Day
by TENSHINOHIME123
Summary: I should hate her. She is the reason I am here. But I cannot hate her, because I know her other side. I know her, and I love her, and I know that as the reed, she must not break for the wind. And I know that, as the wind, I must accept that.


rembrance of a rainy day

The summer monsoon was heavy that day, a curtain of rainfall shrouding

our view of the outside world. The air was thick with humidity, and it

fell over us like a blanket, soothing our bodies to rest and our eyes to

close. There was no need for travel today. As the rain and the wind

raged on outside the entrance to the dark and musty cavern, inside it we

slept, swathed in dampness and lethargy.

It was early morning by now, and yet the sun had not peaked over the

distant mountaintops. This downpour had driven it away, cloaking the

blue sky in dark, angry clouds, filling the placid air with torrents of

rain. And inside...inside there was nothing but moist, clammy darkness,

peppered with the occasional breeze from the outside. My kimono was wet

and stuck to me like glue, and my hair, which I had long since untied

and let hang loose, felt limp. All night I had been drifting

in and out of fitful sleep; now, restless as I was, I was too drained to

do anything but lie against the stone walls of the cavern and doze.

Though it had been silent as the grave all night, I wasn't alone. She

was there, as it seemed she was always. With her head resting against my

shoulder, she slept peacefully, her dark eyelashes brushing her

milk-white cheeks, her chest rising and falling only slightly with each

breath. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around

them; next to her, her small, circular mirror lay face-up on the dirt

floor. I sighed, knowing I might as well be alone, for more than likely

she would sleep until we were called to move on. If not, she would wake

and act as if she were asleep, sitting in that same position, staring at

the blank grey walls. She never was much for words.

I fingered one of the flowers in her hair. "Little fool," I said to

no one, "What goes on in your head?" I laughed softly. "God damn, Kanna,

talking to you. I must be really bored."

But I was. It seemed I had spent countless days waiting on the sidelines. Given the choice between that and how it used

to be, I would rather feel the wind in my hair, taste the blood in my

mouth, swallow the rage that came with the empty feeling where my heart

should've been pounding in my chest. I would rather be prodded and

provoked by Naraku than ignored by Kanna, because it meant my time of

usefulness was past. Such idleness proved I was of no use to him any

longer, and if I was no use to Naraku then I was no use to anyone. He

wouldn't allow me to be.

My eyes found their way to her face again, the dealcite china

mask she called a face. He would never let my sister fade. Kanna was too

loyal, too trusting, too valuable to him, so much so that it nearly made

me sick. It was infuriating, how she could be so simple as to devote

herself to him with nary a question or concern, how she could take his

abuse and misuse of her with a straight face, day after grueling day.

She immersed herself in her service to him, every word, every step

bathed in serene acceptance of her fate. Had she trained herself to

endure it all? Had she needed to?

"What a strange creature you are." Rising to my knees, I crawled over to

face her and drew in close, so close that I could hear every shallow

breath. "Look at you. You're perfect. Not a hair out of place." Before I

could stop myself, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against her pale

cheek. God, she was soft. Smooth, flawless, snow-white skin, and she

smelled of lillies and face powder. "Of course. Of course you are. He

wouldn't have had it any other way." Smiling to myself, I kissed her

gently on the forehead, then said a bit more loudly, "Kanna. Hey, Kanna,

wake up."

She stirred, and her charcoal-black eyes fluttered open. "Kagura?"

"WHO ELES?."

Glancing outside at the pouring rain, she looked back and me and asked,

"What do you want? It's not time to go."

"I know that," I said, "But haven't you slept enough?"

"What do you mean by that?"

I groaned. "I mean that I'm going stir-crazy, you little twit. Can't you

do anything but sleep?"

"Complaining to me will get you nowhere, Kagura." She raised an eyebrow.

"If you wish for your situation to change, I suggest you do something

about it."

I sneered at her. "And what, get another one of my internal organs

ripped out? I don't think so."

Kanna gazed at me for what felt like forever, her raven-eyed stare

contemptuous and cold. "Indeed. And I suppose that settles that." She

turned on her side and lay in silence, a speck of pure white against the

darkness of the tunnel ahead. For awhile, I simply sat and watched her,

lying there and hugging her mirror to her chest, drawing slow circles

over its surface with one finger. It seemed to calm her, and I listened

to her breaths grow deeper and longer as she lulled herself back to

sleep.

I glanced outwards towards the mouth of the cave, where I could make out

only a faint outline of the bleak horizon.ONCE MORE I SHOOK HER AWOKE. "Kanna," I said above the

constant drone of the falling rain, "when are we leaving this place?"

She ROSE sleepily and AS IRRATED SHE WAS WITH ME HER FACE REMANIED UNFEELING."WHEN THE STROM IS OVER WE'LL RECIVE A MESSAGE FROM NARKU THEN WE WILL MAKE OUR WAY HOME." .

"Really."

"Those are the commands that have been issued, yes."

I glared at her. "It's always commands with you, isn't it? Naraku says

jump, and you ask how high. Can't you think for yourself?"

She slowly shook her head. "I wasn't created to think for myself."

"Weren't you?" I went to sit beside her once more, and rested a hand on

her thin shoulder as I spoke. "And do you do only what you were created

to?"

"I find it serves me well, yes," she replied, and shook me off. "You

would do well to follow my example, Kagura. You might find things a bit

easier for yourself."

"Would I, now?" I said indignantly. "Kanna, you foolish child. Such a

one-track mind. Has it not occured to you that not everyone is as

shallow as you are?" I pushed a strand of silvery hair from her ear, and

whispered, "You're perfect, and you know it. You were made that way." I

kissed her ear. "You'll never be driven to the brink, will you, Kanna? I

can try, and I can try..." I let my voice fade into the darkness;

slipped my arms around her and pulled her close. "But I'll never BE LIKE YOU

you. Will I?"

When she spoke again, she sounded faint."You know where my loyalties

lie. Do you wish to test them, Kagura?"

"Mmm." Burying my face in her neck, I murmured, "I know you'll always go

running home to Naraku, you adorable little snitch. I know I can't

change that." I nipped her lightly and smiled to myself. "But I'd like

to see if I can't make you scream."

I laid her down gently on the dirt floor; then, before she could react,

I leaned over her on my hands and knees and kissed her full-on. Her

mouth was warm and sweet, and I pushed my tongue between her lips to

taste her further. As I did so, she whimpered softly into my mouth. "You

can't do this," she gasped when I broke the kiss, "You'll be punished.

You know that."

"Naraku can drive a stake through my heart for all I care." I took her

hand in mine and kissed it. "Kanna, I've been cooped up in here for

nearly three days now. I'm restless. I can't sleep. And above all, I

can't stand another second of your deadpan act." I laughed mirthlessly.

"You can tell Naraku I went insane. You can tell him I couldn't stand

another second of his gloom and doom little girl, that you drove

me out of my mind with your babbling about his commands. Besides," I

added in a sultry tone, kissing a tender spot on her neck, "it's his own

fault. After all, he is the one who made you so damn cute."

"Kagura, that's-"

I silenced her with another kiss, running my tongue over her lips before

parting them gently and exlporing the warm wetness inside. She let out a

soft moan and wrapped her arms around me in an attempt to steady

herself, and I could tell she was fighting it. -Such a good little

drone. Loyal to the end.- I snickered to myself. -I'll break her yet.-

Slowly, I moved from her lips to her neck, kissing and sucking gently as

I fondled her small body, trembling in my arms. Reaching for the sash

that held her kimono, I tugged it loose, revealing her white underdress,

which was silky and thin and left little to the imagination. I smiled.

"Kanna. Sweetheart." She bit back tears, struggling to overcome the urge

to wrap her arms around herself and cry. Kissing her cheek, I pulled her

close and stroked her pale chest through her slip. "Don't be so very

hard on yourself." I touched the tips of her budlike breasts, and she

cried out softly and buried her head in my chest. Licking her ear, I

murmured, "Don't be so afraid."

She gritted her teeth and mumbled, "I-I'm not afraid...what you're doing

is wrong-"

"As if you'd know anything about what's right and what's wrong," I

retorted, nipping her lightly through the cloth. She tightened her grip

on my arm as I pushed the flimsy garment from her shoulders, and I ran

my tongue over her pink rosebuds. As I continued to suck and lick her

gently, I felt her hands go to my head, her fingers wrap themselves

around my tendrils of black hair. Smirking to myself, I bit down ever so

slightly, and she cried out before she could stop herself.

"Kagura-"

I placed a finger to her lips to quiet her. "Shh." Nuzzling her small,

soft breasts one last time, I lifted my head and cradled her to me,

pulling her wrinkled white dress to her knees and then discarding it. By

then, tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her normally pale cheeks

were bright red. Kissing away the salty droplets that spilled from her

dark eyes, I ran my fingertips over her lily-white thighs, and slid one

finger in between her legs. A chill ran down my spine, a deliciously

warm sensation from the wet softness against my hand as I stroked her.

Her little fingernails dug into my skin as she held on, her head resting

against my chest, each breath coming fast and hard. Gentle as could be,

I slid a finger into her and touched her from the inside, and she let

out a stifled whimper into the folds of my kimono. I closed my eyes,

digging deeper with one and then two fingers, loving the warmth and the

moisture that enveloped them as well as the soft moans they elicited

from Kanna. Slowly drawing them out, I sucked them dry of her residue,

then lowered my head and pushed apart her legs, breathing in the sweet

and milky scent of her most secret, sensitive spot...

Her eyes widened as she realized what I meant to do. "Kagura, no - you

can't possibly-"

"Oh, hush." I kissed her navel and laughed. "What have you got to lose?"

Nothing indeed, and I had everything to gain. The smell of her drove me

wild with longing, my mouth watering for her supple sweetness. Without

hesitation, I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my tongue in

the center of her wet pink flower, eating her out to my heart's content.

Her juices coated my mouth and ran down my cheeks, and yet I persisted,

relishing the taste. I was vaguely aware of her hands on my head,

forcing me deeper inside her, and felt an inkling of satisfaction as she

called out my name with each gasping breath.

I lapped at her clit with the tip of my tongue, and she cried out,

tightening to my touch. Slipping in a finger to keep her little hole

wet, I focused my tongue and my lips on her pink pearl, kissing and

sucking as her arousal mounted. Gently working my fingers in and out of

her, I licked her sweet, tiny button until she could take it no longer.

Her juices soaked my face as she climaxed, letting out a scream more

satisfying to me than any I'd had the pleasure of hearing before. And,

having wreaked a fair amount of havoc in my day, I'd heard my share of

screams.

Lifting my head from in between her legs, I gave her a salty wet kiss,

letting her taste herself in the process. When I let her go, she fell

against me, exhausted, and I wrapped my arms around her and nuzzled her

neck. She was trembling, her pale face sticky with sweat and tears, but

at the same time more beautiful than ever. I discovered at that moment

that I loved Kanna like that; so weak and helpless, lying there in my

arms like a rag doll. -So quietly arrogant. So pristine, almost holy in

her reserve-. Not anymore.

"Kagura..." she said softly, raising her head in order to meet my eyes,

"you are horrible. Disloyal. Irresponsible." Kanna stopped for a breath,

then continued to recite my sins. "Selfish. Tactless." She shook

her head weakly. "-Foolish-, beyond all else." Pausing for a moment, she

then whispered, nearly inaudibly, "And you are...-truly- amazing. Let us

not forget that."

I could feel the smile breaking over my face. From that moment on, I

knew that no matter what came of this little affair, I was happy,

because I had won. I had broken Kanna's shield and revealed the sweet

honey within, a sugar that tasted of innocence and fear. By drawing out

my sister's tender side, I felt I had done the impossible - and that was

enough of an accomplishment to fill several lifetimes."Am I, then?"

A pink blush stained her cheeks. "I cannot lie to you, Kagura. That

was...that is to say, it..."

"Felt really, -really- good?" I finished with a devilish grin.

She closed her eyes. "Yes." Sighing contentedly, she burrowed into my

embrace and whispered, "God, yes."

I gave her a last kiss, knowing that all too soon the spell would be

broken, and held on to her for as long as I could. But as we pulled

slowly apart, I glanced towards the mouth of the cave for the first time

in what felt like an eternity, and saw that the monsoon had dwindled to

a spit. Far in the distance, the afternoon sun rose above the land,

shedding a golden light on the storm-ravaged hilltops below. Puddles

ringed the fields and drowned the trees, soaking the earth in mud and

moisture. Indeed, the humans tied to the ground would not be traveling

for days, but the skies were clear and balmy, and Kanna and I would be

airborne in no time.

"Here," I said softly, handing Kanna her kimono and underdress, "Get

dressed. We'll be going soon." The magic melted, and all I could do was

sit in silence and watch as she faded back into the empty little girl I

used to know. As she pulled her sash tight and finger-combed her hair, a

bubble of remorse welled up in my throat, and I had to fight the urge to

panic. -Keep your head about you, Kagura,- I told myself. -This is no

time for regrets.- Still, I felt nearly sick to my stomach, and

something inside me cried out for mercy, begged time to stop and turn

itself around. I had known I would not walk away from this unscathed,

had jumped into it knowing that I might not climb out. But the gruesome

reality dwarfed my confidence, and as the haze of passion and devilry

cleared, the weight of what I'd done came crashing down like a boulder.

"Kagura?" Kanna's voice was tender, her sable-satin eyes reflecting a

mix of concern and disdain. She looked almost as if nothing had ever

happened; aside from the slight flush across her face, she looked just

as she had before, sound-asleep in the cave. "It's time for us to be

going."

"I know." When I didn't have my hair tied, I kept my feathers in a

pocket of my kimono. Drawing out a downy white tuft, I ran my fingers

over it absentmindedly, turning it over and over in my hand. "I know."

Looking me over carefully, she said with a touch of sympathy, "I don't

suppose you're afraid?"

"I'm not -afraid-." I let out a frustrated sigh. But after a moment of

silence between us, I closed my eyes and said softly, "Kanna, you know I

don't want to die."

She smiled almost bitterly. "And you know I don't want to turn you in,

but that's the way of our world, hm? Baby sister, in time you will learn

- or you would have learned - to accept that." Taking the feather from

my hand, she stroked its silky fibers and added thoughtfully, "It's

rather like the old adage, isn't it? The audacious oak, which finds

itself shattered by the wind, and the docile reed, which is merely sways

with it. A clear-cut path for the two, it would seem."

With a gentle breath, she blew the feather from her hand, and it floated

away on a summer breeze. "But what of the wind itself, for whom there is

no path?" Her dark eyes glistened with something like sadness. "What of

her?"

- - -

My palms are wet and warm with my own blood, running down my wrists and

dripping from my fingers. I have, however, learned to numb myself to the

pain, and the claws digging into my flesh are but pinpricks. The

burning sensation in my chest is another story; although these tentacles

bear no spikes, they feel like a vise grip, and with each passing second

it grows harder to breathe.

His words are liquid, flowing like poison from a vial, sometimes in a

stream and sometimes only in a trickle. They seep from his mouth to my

ear, sink there until they're barely intelligible, and I no longer

register his voice. And although my eyes are open, I do not see him; all

I see is her, so far below me on the ground. She is there, on earth, and

I am here, in space, suspended by these loathsome tentecles and his

hateful words.

Before me there is only him, only my master, only Naraku. Only grey,

dead skin, stretched over his face like a mask. Eyes like drops of blood

against porcelain, and sooty black hair that writhes and twists akin to

something alive. A garbled mass of a body, nothing but flesh and muscle

painted with greasy, scaly skin. Mockery, tinted with disdain as

it spews from his lips like bile. He is disgusting, and I close my eyes

and try to picture myself - try to picture her - borne of him. But the

image will not come, and I am glad.

Though my eyes are full of this vile masquerade, my mind has long since

detached itself, and it floats within her. Perched quietly beside him,

her face serene as a china doll's, she consumes me, as she did that

morning in the cave. Even as my mouth fills with blood, all I taste is

her sweet honey; even as my body goes numb, all I feel is her caress.

Even as my ears ring with his screams and mine, all I hear is her soft

whisper, and the desire to hold her wells up in me.

I should hate her. She is the reason I am here. She is the one who sat

beside him when the moon was full, and told him in a low voice of the

things I did to her. She is the one who followed him to where I hid, who

stood in silence as he ripped me apart with his words and his hands. But

I cannot hate her, because I know her other side. I know her, and I love

her, and I know that as the reed, she must not break for the wind. And I

know that, as the wind, I must accept that.

But Naraku is our oak, and he will shatter in time. Already his wisdom

is consumed in confidenc, for even in all his warped and perverse glory,

he is still but a halfling. Yet his ventures push that to its limits,

and soon enough he will find himself without means... But I won't be

there for that. When Naraku's hierarchy crumbles, when his twisted

monarchy implodes and crushes him in its wake, my earthly remains will

be dust in the wind - and my soul will have escaped to somewhere

unseen.

My bloody lips curve into a half-smile as the world before my eyes

shudders and gasps like a dying animal, then fades to black all at once.

A hot, sticky liquid coats my neck and chest, soaking my kimono and

seeping into my skin, and the coppery scent allows for no mistaking what

it is. In the hollow chamber of my heart, a crimson flower blooms, and

my chest heaves as its petals spread like flames. For only an instant,

my entire body burns, the kind of pain so red-hot that it's cold; then,

the blossom crumples and dissolves into liquid ice, melting over my body

ever slowly as the ripples of pain subside.

Thoughts and memories drift away , leaving my head a

peaceful void. I reach for the sky and catch a falling feather of a passing stroke. Stroking it with one finger, I

take comfort in knowing Naraku, no matter how powerful he thinks he is,

has not bested me yet. The little white bird of dreams cupped in my

hands is mine alone, something that he, in all his divine fury, can

never take away from me. It is a memory of a sister, a reminiscence of a

lover, and a gentle reminder of days gone by. It is the heart and soul

of a lost little girl, spreading her wings for the very first time. It

is a precious, precious rembrance of a rainy day, and I will carry it with

me always.


End file.
